And just like that, I have found my inspiration again.

If you’ve been reading my blog (or are one of the unlucky few who I chat with about my writing on a regular basis), you’ll know that I’ve been struggling the past few months.

This novella – I know I have a good story there. Or at least the seed of a good story. Something just isn’t right with it. Still. So, I decided to take a little look at my idea file, since there are a bunch of great anthos coming up that I’d love to sub to. And then there’s the pesky NaNovel from 2011 (and 2010, but let’s not go there).

Since the novella is actually set in the same world as my novel (though not necessarily the same time frame), I thought I should just go back to the novel in the hopes that it will help me get “unstuck”.

And – wow. I mean, we have to love our writing, right? As authors. We have to be excited about an idea to be able to devote our time, energy and creativity to it.

And I know this is a very, very rough first draft that is maybe halfway done, if that.

But re-reading the finished chapters, going back through the months of prep, and outlining, and brainstormed notes made me remember how excited I was to write this book.  I know. Completely obvious, yet oblivious at the same time.

I would be an idiot if I didn’t go where my inspiration takes me, so I’m suddenly back at work on my novel, letting the novella stew, and man, it’s SO GOOD to be writing again.

These past few months, I’ve been reworking the same rejected short stories over and over again (I give them at the very least, a quick read, and in some instances a tweaking if needed before I send them back out again), so writing something brand new – and something I am EXCITED about again – well, it’s a high unlike anything else.

So, although having the 1st draft of the novella done by the end of the month was my original goal, and abandoning it for now kind of feels like a failure (even though these deadlines are self-imposed), I think the idea just needs to brew a little while longer.

For now though, I’m jumping on the story that inspires me at the moment and enjoying the ride.

(It also doesn’t hurt that when I did my character sketches, I did a mock-up of my MC, and I borrowed Jamie Bamber’s face for my idea board )

The first is Dark Dreams, Pale Horses by Rio Youers. There is a real problem with this book. It is so deliciously gorgeous that I only allow myself a few pages at a time so I can make it last for as long as possible. I know it seems silly to mete it out in bits and pieces but it is the kind of book that is totally engrossing for its poetic language and stark stories. It is beautiful in its darkness, language I want to linger and get lost in, and the style of writing I aspire to.

The second book is a Kin by Kealan Patrick Burke. Kin is written as an absolute page-turner. The first chapter has a brutality that drew me in and made me NEED to know what was going to happen next. So did the 2nd chapter. And the 3rd. THAT’S the type of writing we all try to achieve, isn’t it? With this book, I am instantly hooked and unable to (or perhaps not willing to) stop myself from being dragged along for the ride.

2 very different books, 2 reading experiences that I hope my writing, one day, is able to achieve.

I’m so very excited that my story, Husks, will be included in the Return to New Bedlam anthology! Plus, I will be sharing the Table of Contents with my writing buddies Aaron, Nat, Cate and Barry, which is extra fantastic, if you ask me!

The book is scheduled to be released by the end of May, but keep your eye on the blog or my Twitter feed for an announcement with all the juicy details.

I’ll also be adding a page dedicated specifically to my story to the Works section of the website after the book is released.

Exciting times! And don’t you just love that cover?!

Well, not really, but you get the point.

I did the same to another misfit story, and it has suffered the same fate, but hopefully it’s all for the greater good.

As for May, I’m making it the month I finally write my novella. After a false start last month, some retooling and dragging my heels for far too long, I’ll be working toward writing it all in the next 30 days.

We all go through slumps. But there comes a point when you are sick of your moping and ready to get on with it already. I think I passed that mark a while ago, but got sidetracked by reworking these 2 misfit stories.

So, back on track, with a daily word count that I am charging myself to hit, I’m pulling myself out of this slump and ready to rock!

I didn’t write much in January. Post-holiday lull.

February? Things picked up a bit.

March? The beginning of the month was slow-to-non-existent but things got cooking around the end of the month.

Now it’s the middle of April. Uh…I got nothing.

I’ve spent my time outlining a novella, tearing apart said outline to work out the kinks and putting it all back together again, but I have to say – there’s no denying I’m stuck in a rut.

My lofty goals back at the end of 2011? Haven’t even scratched the surface. And when writing is like breathing to you – and you AREN’T – let’s just say I’m not a happy camper.

Maybe I just need to stir things up, try something new, branch out, hand in my Full-Fledged Plotter Card and become a pantser. At this point, I’d stand on my head if it would help (and believe me, that would be a feat in and of itself, considering my upper body strength is lacking).

So…That’s where things stand. The only real progress I’ve made so far in the past few months is racking up a bunch of rejections and cleaning. And let me tell you — ‘round these parts? There is not a dust bunny to be found.