Flinging the Door Open

I bought "First Draft in 30 Days" to help me with getting organized to write my book.  At first, I was totally gung-ho about it. I literally hit the ground running that first night by typing out all the first week's worth of worksheets and printing them out so I could start organizing my thoughts.

I've actually had this idea in my head for a few years now, but I had never really planned to turn it into a book.  The more I thought about it – the characters, the history of the town itself, the crazy twists and turns I could throw into the mix – it seemed so obvious to me that I should take the plunge.

At first, it felt weird to me (even in my paper journal) to talk about my book, so I resorted to calling it, still, "my story".  I don't know why I was afraid to say it out loud. Maybe I was afraid of jinxing myself (like if I let it be known and a few months down the road, ended up abandoning the idea, I would have to account for my initial declaration).

The first person I told was my sister-in-law at one of our family BBQ's.  It was a pitiful attempt, at best.  When she asked me what it was about, I stammered out a shoddy description and quickly changed the subject, as if I were talking about the black sheep in the family – you know, that cousin or long-lost uncle who listens to Billy Joel and gets violently offended when you make fun of his love of all things Piano Man).

But I've decided to come out of the closet, so to speak, and let it be known that, yes – I am working on a novel. Yes, I am exhilarated and terrified and determined and I will most definitely be swinging on a pendulum between ecstatic and terrified for the next few months or years or how ever long it takes me to beat back the beasts of my own neuroses long enough to get my story down on paper.

So if you see me and I'm bleary-eyed and lost, or snarling, or disheveled and depressive, you now know it's because I am starting on one of the most exciting and fear-inducing adventures of my life.

And for better or worse, I love it.