Self-analysis

I've been doing 'morning pages' every day, according to The Artist's Way. It's a little difficult, actually. Not the actual writing, but the self-analysis.

I've discovered that I regret that path I've chosen in terms of what I want to do with my life. For whatever reasons, I've put up barriers that have steered me away from what I want. Partly out of fear I suppose. Not trying for fear of failure is such a cliché, but it seems that is exactly what I've done. I can't even explain why.

It seems so ridiculous, doesn't it? Self-imposed torture. I guess once I figure out why I did this, I'll be able to move past it.

It does actually feel good, the process of sitting outside everyday with an iced mocha and my journal. That's what I love the most…the process. I'm not simply a tortured writer though. I don't pour brandy into my mocha. But I'm not against it either!