This afternoon, I've been tracing plot threads, and fleshing out the personalities of my characters with their deeper motivations.
I feel like much of my outline is still very disjointed, with abandoned ideas needing to be weeded out so I can see the whole story more clearly.
But today is the first day in a while that I feel like I'm able to push past the messiness and work things out, instead of my old habit of becoming more & more lost in the details until I get frustrated, start to doubt my talent, and give up in frustration .
Every now & then, I'm amazed at the changes I've made. I abandoned my writing for many years – and I'm the first to admit that I wasn't a very happy person during that time. I literally cut everyone in my life off, and wallowed in guilt (for not being true to myself).
But by realizing that this really is my passion, and not settling for a life without writing in it, that is the best gift I could have ever given myself.