Many Me’s

I read this in Keri Smith's journal today:

Writing anything in the journal feels like healing, even if it is crap.  I have never known why this is.  I suspect it lets me know that I have my own inner life outside of everything I am on the outside.

Often I feel like I am lost, like I have many different "me's", that I am being a certain "me" in each different situation.  There is an online me, there are various "me's" in my relationships.  The only time I feel like I am the fully-expressed "me" is in my own head because, even in my paper journal, I feel like I censor myself sometimes (as if when I am long-gone, someone will read my journals and judge me by my words).  All I really want is to just BE – wholly and freely.

The thing is – I'm the only one stopping myself from doing so.